Today, November 21st, is National Suicide Survivor's Day.
Something I can celebrate.
I attempted suicide myself, and I honestly don't know why I would do that over such a stupid reason.
I was going through a time when I didn't know who I was anymore because someone I truly loved had left me.
I'm going through that time again, and to be honest, it scares me.
I'm scared to death I'm going to start being that reckless Lyndsey I once was.
Eating Advil, drinking my mom's Keystone Light, not caring about anyone or anything, especially myself.
Well, thats not true. I cared about everyone. Too much.
I still do.
But it terrifies me that I might be like that again...
Most of the close, close, friends I have now have never seen me like that...
And I'm scared they'll abandon me.
Like my other friends did...
I'm so scared.
I don't know what to do.
Its like I'm falling.
Back into the past...filled with fishnets, alcohol, pills, and punk rock.
From The Mind Of,
Lyndsey.
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